Moslem Islamic Imam Say Chocolate is Evil

In Malaysia, as elsewhere, Islamic religious leaders are saying that eating Chocolate on Saint Valentine's Day is evil and a serious sin. In fact, Iranian moslem leaders are saying that moslem women who eat chocolate deserve the death penalty and immediate damnation to Hell for committing a mortal sin. A spokesman for Hershey Chocolate is quoted as saying that Islamic leaders are once again promoting illegal Opium drug use in order to decrease Chocolate consumption. Nestle's Chocolate is saying that death warrants are issuing for the moslem clerics from Switzerland for these sick acts in Violation of Sheriff's Law which is applicable as Moslem Law. Of course it is also the case that the very same moslem leaders who are attempting to ban chocolate use have stockpiled their own personal stores of chocolate themselves. The riots in Egypt are apparently an attempt by the pro chocolate faction in moslem Egypt to stop an attempted ban on chocolate consumption. Already they are saying in Moslem Mindanao Island in the Phillipines that possession of a Hershey Chocolate Bar will carry a penalty of death by dismemberment for sincere moslems. It is rumored, however, that certain moderate moslem clerics have ruled that Babe Ruth Chocolate Bars are not banned because the chocolate content is below 25% of the total candy bar weight. In Iran they are also saying that homosexual moslems like Bill Dittrick are also prohibited from consuming copius quantities of chocolate in order to prevent high levels of dopamine in the homosexual brain. When asked to comment, Kirk Blecha, noted midwest litigator, stated that the homosexual chocolate bar problem as the Baird, Holm Law Firm was being addressed by the Firm Executive Committee, immediately after the interior decorating of the Law Firm Lobby has been dealt with once again. Meanwhile, in Rome, they are saying that Catholic women are rebelling against the moslem chocolate ban, saying such a ban violates Canon Law and the Rule of Reason. When asked to comment, Randy Lee, notable legal scholar said that he thought after Derrida and Shermer vs. Verner, the moslem ban on chololate clearly violated substantive due process and constituted Constitutional Treason (See Robert Lipkin on Chocolate). In New York, the Akin Gump Law Firm is asserting that chocolate smuggling is clearly protected by GATT. It now appears that Han Solo was actually smuggling chocolate on the Kessel Run in the Mellenium Falcon, when he and Chewbacca did the Kessel Run in under two parsecs.